Spanish 
PART 1
Dear Parents,
Hello! How you approach parenting will be different from how your parents did, and how other parents do. This month’s Online Parenting video encourages you to consider the difference between parenting teens as their friend, compared to parenting in a way that reflects a godly relationship.
God the Father is the perfect model of a parent. If God is the perfect model of a parent, let’s look at what the Bible says about what is most important to God regarding parenting:
- Proverbs 22:6 – “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
- Deuteronomy 6:6–7 – “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
- Ephesians 6:4 – “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
- Proverbs 13:24 – “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”
Notice what Scripture says. Parents are to “train up” their children, teach God’s Word diligently to their children all the time, bring them up “in the instruction of the Lord,” and love them enough to discipline them. Is this not the heart of God?
God says He disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6), and that those whom He chastens are “blessed” (Psalm 94:12). In Deuteronomy, Moses wrote that “God [disciplines] you just as a man disciplines a son.” Why does God discipline His people? It is out of love for us, so that we might be made holy. It works for our good, so that we reflect God. In the same way, we must parent our kids out of love for them, that they might grow to become more Christ-like.
This is the ultimate reason for disciplining a teen—that they might turn back to a right relationship with God and reflect Him. Yes, it’s harder the older they get. However, parenting in this way really doesn’t leave room for a “friendship” relationship with a parent and their pre-teen or teen. No, this kind of parenting reflects the godly relationship between God and His children.
This is not an easy relationship, but the goal is to raise adults who follow the Lord and His instruction. We know this is a hard subject, and it’s often difficult, time consuming, and exhausting to discipline, instruct, and teach teenagers. We are praying for you and are here for support. We are on this crazy parenting journey together!
Partnering with you,
The NAC USA Family Ministry Team
PART 2
Dear Parents,
Welcome back!
Oh how tempting it is to want to be buddies with your pre-teen or teen! Sometimes kids actually want to be friends with their parents . . . but sometimes, that’s the last thing they want.
Though a friendship with your teenager seems like the ideal goal, what is more important is to have a godly relationship with your teen. Researchers have found that treating children as friends opens up a relationship of one confidant to another—and when kids have that kind of relationship with their parents, it can actually increase stress. Parents often end up treating the child as an adult therapist, disclosing adult issues with their kids like financial worries, employment hassles, personal problems, or negative feelings about their ex-husbands.
Fight the urge to enter into this kind of relationship with your pre-teen or teen—even if you have a thriving, healthy relationship with them. Yes, you want to have a warm, trusting relationship centered on love for your pre-teen or teen . . . with limits. Your job as a parent is to parent, and to teach them in such a way that they will walk in the way of the Lord. Children can have many friends, and the friendships might change often. But parents have a unique relationship with their children and the children depend on what this relationship can provide.
In the video this month on a godly relationship vs. a godly friendship with your teen, we talked about the importance of parents seeking to honor their godly calling as a parent. The easy way is to choose to be our teen’s friend; but being their parent will prevent a lot of problems in the future. We are praying for you!
Together with you,
The NAC USA Family Ministry Team