PART 1

Dear families,

This month, we don't have a video to show, but rather would like to share two articles with you that are extremely important and timely. Please take a few moments to read this first article, Four Questions to Ask Yourself Before Talking to Your Kids About Racism, as it may help you process with your children the events that are happening in the world. 

Four Questions to Ask Yourself Before Talking to Your Kids About Racism

If you’ve been paying attention these last few years, you know this: Racism is real. But when it comes to talking to kids about racism, many parents are uncertain about how to talk about it with their kids. And while we want to address it, we wish we could shelter them from ever witnessing anything so reminiscent of our dark and painful history.

But somehow, we know that part of the solution for change starts with us. We also know that as parents, we have an opportunity to make a difference in this world through the incredible influence we have on our kids—who are watching, listening, and taking it all in—regardless of whether we intend for them to or not.

We also want to bring hope and comfort to our kids through our words and actions in troubling times, so as you think about how to talk to your kids about the realities and uncertainties of our world, we encourage you to ask yourself a few questions.

1. How are YOU processing your feelings?
   In order to have honest conversations with our kids, we need to be honest with ourselves. Check your heart and your thoughts. Be sure to take a step back and identify how you might need to change in your prejudices and in your interactions with others. Reflect on what it really means to love those whom God loves, and unrelentingly pursue forgiveness and reconciliation. Your kids will get many of their cues from observing your response. Yes, they’re really watching and listening. Are your reactions and frustrations to what is happening betraying any subtle biases? 
2. Do you celebrate diversity?
   Some parents may be tempted to try to teach their kids to be blind to color, to shy away from acknowledging differences or just ignore them altogether. But the truth is that we are all very different in the way God made us—in our skin color, in our genetic makeup, and in our culture. And that’s something to be celebrated, not ignored. Do you model the belief with your words and actions that God made each of us unique and beautiful even in our differences? Do you demonstrate respect and honor towards those you disagree with? How diverse is your circle of friends and the people you associate with? How can you widen that circle for your family? 
3. Are you talking about racism?
   Racism is a difficult and sensitive topic, but it does exist, often in the form of subtle comments and prejudice, but sometimes it’s outright hatred and violence. Not talking about it doesn’t make it go away. So talk about the issues with others outside your circle and with people of different backgrounds. Discover the truth from various outlets and seek to understand other perspectives. When you find the right words that honestly and respectfully express how you think and feel, choose which words you might share with your kids. Then talk to your kids about prejudice and racism so you can equip them with the values and the words they will need to respect, celebrate, and stand up for those who are being discriminated against. 
4. Are you focused on love?
   As parents, our hearts break in the shadow of these tragic events, and our anxiety, anger, and fear unfortunately leak out onto our kids. It’s okay to be honest with your kids, but it’s important to talk to them about how your family can respond to what’s happening in our world in a positive way.
   As you navigate these important conversations, focus on what matters most: LOVE. Put love into action, and rest in the hope that is found there. And dole out love in especially large doses on your kids so they feel safe and secure. Hug them tightly and let them know that God is with them and they don’t have to be afraid.

This article was originally published HERE on theparentcue.org

Partnering with you and praying that you and your family are continuing to grow in Him,

The NAC USA Family Ministry Team

PART 2

Hi families,

In continuing the sensitive and important topic of racism, please see the below article.

 The Work of Teaching Kids to Value Everyone

“I will never be friends with Will*! He has a funny looking hand, and I will never play with him!” my 4-year-old passionately declared the moment she climbed in the backseat of our car after her first day of pre-k.

I froze, eyes wide, mouth open. My eyes flicked to the rear-view mirror where I could see my little girl, scowling, arms crossed over her new navy dress with the words “BE KIND” spelled out in sequins. Where had I gone wrong? How had I missed the signs that I was raising a monster?? What were the magic words I had to say to reverse this immediately?

“Babe . . . that makes me feel . . .” I started, completely unsure how to finish that sentence. I settled on “. . . really sad.” Her scowl grew deeper. She was doubling down. “Sad for you, that you might miss out on a really good friend.”

“But I will never be his . . .”

“. . . Yes, I hear you. But I’m also sad for him. You know how nervous you felt about starting a new school this morning?” (Small nod) “Remember how scared you felt about making new friends? Can you imagine how it would feel to start a new school and wonder if anyone would be able to see past how you look and just be your friend?”

(A scowl and a huff) Okay. New strategy.

“What if Jude had a funny looking hand?” She had a fairly new baby brother she was obsessed with. Just a few weeks before she’d told me if anyone was ever mean to him, she would punch them in the face (maybe that was one of the signs I’d missed). “What if he looked different from everyone else and people decided not to be his friend because they didn’t like how he looked? How would you feel?”

“I knooooooww-uh!” Eye roll.

I knew I was pushing my lecture time limit but how could I—in good conscience—send this sweetly packaged monster back to pre-k the next day?!

“Okay, one last thing. Will’s mama loves him as much as I love you. She helped him pick out a first day of school outfit just like we did. She wants him to have a good year filled with great friends and I want you to be kind to everyone—not because they look like you or act like you or like the same things you like.

I want you to be kind to everyone because everyone is important.”

“I knooooooww-uh! STOP TALKING!”

Confirmed: I was raising a monster.

That afternoon, as she watched Daniel Tiger (singing, “In some ways we are different, but in so many ways, we are the same” in the background), I ordered no less than 10 Everyone Has Equal Value-themed picture books to subtly slide into our bedtime story rotation. I added shows and movies to our queue that had heroes who looked different or faced down bullies. I researched places we could go as a family to make sure she was regularly exposed to all kinds of people. And I signed up for a Meals on Wheels route for us to do as a family on our one free morning.

I wish I could say she went back to school the next week and invited Will over for a play date. But I learned that I can’t teach love in one day. There were no magic words I could say to fill her with empathy and eradicate all fear/hatred towards others. The truth is, my work on this subject will never be done. Not after reading all the books, watching all the movies, and delivering all the meals. Not even after she got in the backseat one day in May and announced, “I have big news! Will is actually my friend!”

Being intentional about the books we read, the people we interact with, the way my husband and I speak to and about others—this is work I should have been doing all along, work I must continue doing the rest of my life.

Because, guess what? I wasn’t raising a monster after all. We all have prejudices, fears, and biases. We all see and react to differences in others. And we all have to be willing to do the work needed to make sure the next generation is one defined by their ability to see the intrinsic value in every person they meet.

This article was written by Lauren Terrell and originally published HERE on theparentcue.org

Praying for you,

The NAC USA Family Ministry Team